rbsn ~ excursive

got new burgundy patent slingbacks from joan&david. i am in looooooooooooove. wheeeee!

and now — i don’t know what to wear tomorrow to show off my new shoes!!!!

it seems the black tea drink is getting me a bit high….yieah.

at work. therefore am sleepy. oh lord am i sleepy.

headache and upset stomach. i thought i was over the stress stuff?!?!

boo. :(

very soon my pretties, i will COMBUST from the amount of emotional rollercoastering that is pounding through my brain. my rib cage will EXPLODE. maybe burst into flame? violent purple flames? yieah that sounds cool. kablooey-ish.

i come home and deflate. can’t breathe. really really really looking forward to the day when i will not be a massive lump of utter exhaustion. i mean seriously, i take back anything i ever said in derision against people who talk about their emotional baggage. this shit needs to have been over with since yesterday.

i thought i sported an inflated sense of self-worth. apparently there are other people who dare to surpass my delusions. there are times when i envy those whose upbringing encouraged a thorough appreciation of one’s self. i incessantly question the value of such-and-such with regards to my person and it’s become a tiresome struggle to sift through all the so-called logical arguments (with only myself for company no less) and arrive at a conclusion. so people who walk around with a thoroughly polished self-value statement seem so confident to me. unless, of course, your perception places yourself above all else, so on and so forth, end of discussion. in which case, my ego will have no choice but to elbow your fat ass out of the way.

some of these things i already do. and some of those things really need doing. i love the random wisdoms to be found in shane’s blog.

my mommy gave me a big lavender rock.

and i need more rocks. in more colors. scary new addiction, arrrr!!!

i am Totally In Love.

drawing A Complete Blank. uh….what the heck should i put on the dvd cover?!

it’s so crazy to be simultaneously hyper and exhausted at the same time. my poor lungs can’t keep up with the insanity much longer.

art show packing madness tomorrow night. waaahhh!!!

quite excited about upcoming trips …but oh the packing/unpacking. ew.

daniel craig’s 007 = the yummy

okay i’m done with the blabberfest.

i don’t wanna work.

i want to ride pirates of the carribean and then eat at the blue bayou.

then spend the next two days with animals at the sd zoo. omg i miss the turtles. my turtles!!!!!!!!

amazing how sleep can make me SO. DAMN. HYPER.

i hope this means that either the applebee’s at the renaissance is replaced…or it becomes an ihop. like ZOMG AN IHOP THAT’S LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE. yieah baby, yieah!!!

have been whining incessantly lately. lack of patience to figure things out and thus let loose the verbal vomit without first processing things through the brain. then i realize afterwards how to solve the issue. my friends must be so annoyed with me. i hate hearing myself whine. unless it’s me letting off some steam, whining just seems to be indication of incompetence. i’d prefer not to be that, thanks.

of course, all this mental baggage isn’t helping the situation. i can’t find patience if i can’t get rid of this giant lump of anxienty currently residing inside my rib cage. isn’t there some sorta acid dissolvant i can take?!?!

dear god:

thanks for helping me find the perfect dress and the perfect shoes. to make up for the relentless drama currently hijacking my grey matter. cuz ooo it hurts. i can’t even eat! even though i’m totally hungry. but anyway, thanks dude.

i can never recall that sense of hightened stress once the panic has passed. then i wonder how i ever felt that way, if i’d imagined the emotional frantic. why i overreact. melodramaticize it all. and how in the world i suck it up each and every time. even that one time.

at band camp.

i’m freaking out here. too many things happening at the end of july — a bajillion personal deadlines to meet. and all i wanna do is veg on the couch and alternate between snoozing, watching a popcorn flick, or reading. procrastination kicks into overdrive whenever i’m stressed. :)

plus, i’m hungry. that’s never good!

it doesn’t get girlier than painting the toes while watching the wedding story on tlc.

it’s rare for me, but it happens.

for the first time ever, shopping therapy actually worked.

for about 40 minutes anyway.

450 bucks. just for prints and frames. W.T.F.
i am in pain. PAIN!!!!
::sob::

ooooo, my calves are sore.

during show-prep times, i’d like to have an android i can yell commands at. make it find frames for me. matte stuff. decide what should be entered, how it should be arranged, re-design my biz card, and then mail the whole lot out. no more wandering in the heat carrying packages everywhere. i’m just whining (as per usual!). show-prep sucks…labor stress on top of WHATIFNOTHINGSELLSOHNOES!!! poking at me. ow!

so yieah, a real vacation picks you up. yesterday was the first time since never that i played long, played hard…then managed to wake up at seven fucking thirty AM today, unable to go back to sleep. what madness is this?! napped after lunch. and now posting when i should be, harhar, working on show-prep stuff. did i mention i can’t stand show-prep stuff?!