it’s always funny-amusing to me how a seemingly innocuous topic for one day inadvertently becomes a recurring theme the following day. what started as a curiousity-fueled research into orgasms last night somehow got tangled up with today’s Random Subject For Browsing. all started from this post by hugo about male sexual ethics — which linked to another of his posts regarding the mary kay letourneau case (which i was Randomly Browsing About just this morning). my fuzzy theories on orgasm/self-knowledge/feminism/empowerment from last night just got bombarded with third party perspectives of all angles: the meaning of pleasure versus joy, sexual responsibility, the consititution of a “meaningful” relationship, so on and so forth. i don’t regularly spend my time exploring these topics and defining my personal perspective on them so it’s been an interesting two nights of muddling through a viscous soup. intuition is my preferred method of determining life decisions but effectiveness of gut feeling can and should only go so far in crafting a firm opinion. the last two nights have been a great exercise in me pushing my own boundaries in acceptance and self-challenge. you know, trying to be more tolerant and move on from a desire to punch deliberately obtuse people in the face. learning to be more detailed-oriented (somewhere, somehow, i’ve lost the ability to read and “get” every sentence on the page). forcing myself to tirelessly poke away at gray-lined issues and arrive at a justifiable conclusion, even if that conclusion still involves those gray-lines. learning when to stop throttling frustration at the inconclusives. and, thankfully, still feeling The Humble. there are always many more sheep in the flock. nice little reminder that.
p.s. as a side-note, this type of brain massage is infinitely more preferable and self-fulfilling than any of the thinking i’ve done at werk for the past year.
p.p.s., omg i’ve just died from cuteness overload.